9 . 30 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?

Work day & Ministry night. My day didn't end until 9:30pm. Lots of things that happened ... I guess the most interesting - or fun - would be that I got to chat with my Grandma tonight when I got home. She is one of my very favorite people and talking to her warms my heart. 

I love her so much. ❤ We talked about family and set up plans for our "Annual Family Pumpkin Carving Extravaganza" that will be happening in a few weeks.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?

I dislike confrontation. I actually I hate it. This is something that has been a recurring theme this September and of course it would happen on the last day of the month. However, I learned a secret to confrontation. Well two secrets. First, the word "confrontation" doesn't represent the act well. I have picked up and started using the phrase "having a truth telling conversation" which I believe is more accurate. Most of the time when confrontation needs to happen it is because the truth needs to be expressed. Second, in order to feel prepared for a "truth telling conversation" one should ALWAYS pray before hand. Not just shoot up a desperate plea to heaven and say, "HELP!" ... but to actually stop, breathe, and seek God, stand in His Presence, and absorb His wisdom.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?

I feel blessed by Him today. There were multiple occasions todays where I was able to take moments out of my day to spend time in prayer for various things. I am grateful that I work at a Christian University where praying with co-workers is encouraged! I am also grateful that I work in a ministry at church where prayer is a priority as well. So much of the day is "go-go-go" and pray has this special way of slowing me down and helping me re-focus on Jesus & the reason I am going & doing.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?

I feel drained today. Mostly in a good way. I was able to pour out love to the woman in my group tonight, with the help of my fabulous co-facilitator, team, and ministry leader.

Other thoughts or feelings:
Tomorrow is October 1st! I don't think I've ever been more excited for a month to be over. September was the month of "confrontation & decisions" ... I'm hoping October will be a month of "new things, joy, & rest". 
I am hopeful for this new month.

9 . 29 . 2013

:: just finished one of the busiest weeks, here is my attempt to catching up ::

Did anything interesting happen this last week?
Positive Things: saw Rend Collective Experiment with my friend, got a clean bill of health from the doctors after my physical, spent the day with my sister & mom hanging out, re-arranged my room, gave old clothes & trinkets to goodwill, finding out one of my very best friends is moving back to the Northwest!!
Not so positive things: had to get my blood drawn for tests (I HATE NEEDLES!), dealing with work stress, figuring out house stuff, stressing over relationships with people & figuring out how to handle conversations with them.

Did you learn anything new about yourself this week?
I get very overwhelmed when all the areas of my life are in constant transition. September has not been a great month - tons of stress, drama, difficult situations, conversations, and problems. What the heck September?! I need a break. Thankfully in a couple weeks I get a long 4-day weekend which will provide some rest.

How do you feel about your relationship with God this week?
I felt pretty distant ... it was most likely due to the fact that I was so busy and stressed with everything that was going on. My prayers were more along the line of "HELP!" when things got overwhelming. I know that Jesus is always there for me when I need His help ... but I also know that he desires more from me than desperate pleas every-so-often.

How do you feel about your relationships with people this week?
Relationships with people are hard. Everyone is so unique and has their own take on everything they perceive, hear, do, and say. Then I have my own version and getting them to line up can be difficult. I know this will be the case the rest of my life ... so I better just embrace it and roll with it.

Other thoughts or feelings?
I've been staying that October is going to be the month where it all turns around and it'll things will be better. So here is to October - may you be a good month that treats me nicely & brings me many happy & fun moments!

Our House Motto ~ "October On!"

9 . 23 . 2013

Did you do anything interesting today?
Work then church. Monday nights are my ministry nights at Mosaic working with the Restoration & Recovery team. Tonight was our first night so there were a lot of things to do ~ but it went great. We have a great R&R Team this year and I feel blessed to be a part of it this year.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
I noticed today that it is hard for me to switch from "work mode" to "ministry mode". With work it is mostly about being professional, keeping on task, being efficient, getting things done. With ministry it is all of those things, but with relationships being the overarching goal. It is more about the person and less about the work that is produced. Maybe on my drives over to church I should take that 5 mins to pray and ask God to help me re-center myself.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
I feel pretty good. Work was overwhelming today and my list kept growing ... but I am thankful for encouraging & prayerful people in my life that reflect Jesus back to me.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?
I feel very good. For R&R we met together in a big group for instruction and then broke into smaller groups for the process time. I am already feeling like this group of woman is the perfect fit for the book we are reading and the life transitions we are all going through. I am praying for the Lord's blessing for all of us woman as we walk down the road of healing.

Other thoughts or feelings?
Counseling/Recovery/Healing/Process groups really excite me. Coming home from R&R I totally felt like I was high on life. I have taken these past 5 months off from doing any counseling work because I was so burnt out from my graduate program - but tonight reminded me why I love the field of counseling so much. I know that the Lord has gifted me ~ but I'm still praying about where I should use those gifts. For now it'll be in R&R.

MORE thoughts?
One last thing. A coupled weeks ago my friend asked me to join a "gal pal mug swap" where we signed up and got matched with another girl. We learned what they liked and would buy them a mug & other goodies as well as pray for them during the weeks. I sent mine out last Friday. When I got home tonight I found a package waiting for me! I opened it up and found the most amazing & thoughtful card, mug, tea towels and earrings a girl could ever want. Feeling very loved and blessed by my gifts!

9 . 21 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
Pretty chill Saturday. Slept in, read portions of my books, and snuggled under a blanket on my favorite chair in the house. Later that night one of my roommates old college friends came to town and they invited me out to pizza. We went to Mississippi Pizza which is one of my favorite Portland places. I learned that they have bingo on Monday nights - I'm so going back for that.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
I really like having lazy weekends which consist of being in sweats with a cozy blanket and a good book. The only thing better would be to have a football game playing in the background.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
Even though I spent time reading about God I didn't feel like I connected with Him today. Not sure why.

How do you feel about your relationship with people today?
Hanging out with my roommate and her friends was really fun. I realized that most all "christian college kids" are all the same no matter what small school they went to. It is kind of like our own little community of people. Even though I wasn't a part of their stories, it reminded me of my college memories and it was fun to laugh along with them.

Other thoughts or feelings?
We got home around 11:30pm and I was totally wiped out. My body is past the late night of college - I am getting old! :(

9 . 20 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
After work my co-worker and great friend decided to go see The Heat (again!) later that night. We all met up at her favorite wine bar, Wine 30, in Milwaukie and hung out for an hour of so before the movie started. This was my first time at Wine 30 and it was great! I totally want to go back! Plus they had an amazing acoustic guitar player serenading us. This friend is one of the funniest people I have ever met. She always has THE BEST stories and I always end up laughing so hard that I cry. When it was time for the movie we walked down the street and got ready to watch The Heat. This has got to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.  There are some points in the movie that I laugh so hard I can't breathe. So good.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
This is something that I knew already but I love to laugh! It is so good for the soul.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
I feel blessed to be used by Him.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?
During lunch today I met up with the girl that I mentor. We ate in the cafeteria and chatted about life. There is something so special about a relationship where both people have permission to speak truth into each other's lives. For what little I know about life, love, and Jesus - He still uses me.

Other thoughts or feelings?
Yay for the weekend!
On the agenda: sleeping in, taking it easy, and keepin it real.

Friday Favorites

Favorite Song of the Week:

"Glory of Love" - Jimmy Durante

Favorite Video of the Week:

Bishop T.D. Jakes

"Healing Fatherless America: Give What You Didn't Get"

9 . 19 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
I had a rather fun and productive day at work  today. Plus my friend and awesome co-worker visited me and brought me a cold Coca-Cola which totally made my day. Towards the end of the work day I had two things to do but was lacking energy to finish ... so I cranked up the Pitch Perfect soundtrack and it totally helped. That is my go-to pump-me-up music.
After work I went home. made dinner, and headed to Target with my roommate for some supplies. I am proud to say that I stuck to my list, which almost never happens!

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
While paroosing Pinterest tonight I saw a pin that said "Stressors that keep me spinning" with a Myers-Brigg typology printed on the head. My curiosity was peaked and I just had to click.
Here is the picture:

 

Some of the key stressors for my type are: loudness, negativity from others, feeling misunderstood, lack of closure, conflict ...

AMEN!

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
I was thinking about how I was going to answer this question as I walked home from work today. I have really appreciated the fact that I have to answer this question everyday because it gets me thinking about God. I have found that in the business of life I often lose touch with Him. Romans 8:6 “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."

I have also found myself being more aware of how much I need Jesus in my life. He is the one to always listen, always love, always comfort, always guide. What would life be without Him? I don't even want to think about that.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?
I feel like it was a good day. I love visiting with my friends at work and I should do that more often. I am the type that gets caught up in the projects and getting things done ... I need take a break and have fun at work too!

Other thoughts or feelings?
so glad that tomorrow is Friday!

9 . 18 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
I went to therapy today during my lunch hour. During my drive I thought about what I wanted to talk about today. I have been reading "Recovering from Losses in Life" a lot because I will be facilitating a group starting next Monday for R&R at my church. All this reading on loss has got me thinking about my own losses in life. The book focuses not only on the big losses but also the small losses in life, which usually carry the most weight because people do not grieve over them. No grief = no process, no goodbye, no closure. This results in anger, bitterness, depression, anxiety ...

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
While talking with my therapist I shared about some of the losses in my life (having my heart broken in 4th grade by my "boyfriend", changing schools in jr. high, to name a few) and I realized that I have not grieved those losses and I need to in order to continue the journey of becoming emotionally healthy.

How do you feel about your relationship with God?
I feel as though God is slowly uncovering parts of myself that need work. Thankfully He did it in a gentle fashion today.

How do you feel about your relationship with people?
I didn't really interact with anyone outside of therapy and work. I think I needed time alone tonight after being with people these last couple of days.

Other thoughts or feelings?
The song that is playing right now is called "Can't Go Back" ... how true that is.
Time to process the losses and keep moving forward.

9 . 17 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
My roommate and went over to my friends house to watch the season premiere of New Girl. This is one of my very favorite tv shows. I laugh out loud watching every episode. During the commercial breaks my friend and I talked about life and caught up on everything that has been going on. She had a lot to tell me and there were many times that I screamed with delight over her exciting news.

Did you learn anything new about yourself today?
I think that I have officially entered into the stage of life where all my friends are dating, getting married or having a baby. I usually don't struggle with comparing myself to their lives but I often feel left out of the party. I want to share exciting news with my friends too!

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
God has a way of reading my mind ... here is today's reading from Jesus Calling:
"You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning, attempting to control what will happen to you in the future. This is a commonly practiced form of unbelief. When you mind spins with multiple plans, Peace may sometimes seem to be within your grasp; yet it always eludes you ... I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capacity. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into my Care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace." - Sarah Young

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?
Good. It was great to catch up with my friend and share in the excitement of new things.

Other thoughts or feelings?
Praying for the peace of Christ to rule in my heart tonight.

9 . 16 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
I was suppose to take a day off today but I woke up early and thought about all the work that needed to be done so I reluctantly got ready for the day and headed to work. I left early to go set up a new bank account at the local credit union before heading to my meeting at church. I don't know why but after setting that up the new bank account I felt like I had taken another big step into adulthood.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
Ever since entering the season of becoming an adult it has been an interesting and at times frustrating experience. I feel so underprepared to do this whole adult life thing. Most of the time I am guessing. I wonder if that is what everyone else is doing too?

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
I felt very taken care of today by people. I know that was one of God's blessings to me today. Often times, God's people reach out and love with His hands and words.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?
Pretty good.

Other thoughts or feelings?
I have found that when I do big-girl adult things it helps when I wear lipstick.

9 . 15 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
I spent pretty much all day at my church, Mosaic. The new LIT (Leader in Training) Cohort was introduced to the church during each service. At each service the church prayed for all of us and commissioned us into service for 2013 - 2014. During the afternoon break between morning services and the night service, I took my friend out to lunch for our weekly mentor date. I was ravenously hungry so she let me choose the place. Off we went to Zach Shack for some chili dogs. Meeting with this friend is always a joy. She is young, full of life, super sassy, and above all loves Jesus with all of her heart. I feel so honored that she asked me to be her mentor 3 years ago. We filled each other in on our weeks. We talked about her life in college, her new duties as an R.A. and then of course we talked about boys. We prayed for each other and then parted ways. I love spending time with her. After that, I went home and took a long nap. I woke up and went back to church. I sat next to two of my good friends and soaked up the atmosphere.

Did you learn anything new about yourself today?
That no matter how old I get, talking about boys never gets old. 

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
After the night service I went to our first LIT meeting. Listening to stories of past LIT's and hearing the vision for the year got me excited. At the end of the meeting I met my spiritual mentor and she seems great. I feel confident that I am walking down the path that God has for me in this season of life. This feels good. I know that I will have hard times, doubts, frustrations but knowing that I am where I should be makes it all okay.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?
Good :)

Other thoughts or feelings?
My spirit is refreshed when I get to have genuine conversations about life over chili dogs. 

9 . 14 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?

I went to Dosha to get my hair cut & colored. Going to see my stylist Jasmine is a treat. She is so fun, thoughtful, sweet, and really good at what she does. I told her what I wanted and she worked her magic. She also talked me into getting my eyebrows waxed. (eick! I had a horrible experience with that when I was a teenager and have always steered clear of doing it again) ... but of course she talked me into it and helped me conquer my fears of eyebrow waxing.

After that I got together with very good friend & old college roommate. We had a movie date! First stop: Walmart (for snacks of course). Then we went to see "Lee Daniels The Butler" - it was one of the best movies I have ever seen. There is so much I could say about this movie but I will leave that to others. All I will say is that everyone should watch it and let the story soak into your heart.

Did you learn anything new about yourself today?

After watching the movie I was at a loss for words. The weight of the world and all its ugliness was on my heart. My heart aches for those who have been so mistreated.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?

Contemplative.

"Worship Me by living close to Me. This was My original design for man, into whom I breathed My very breath of Life. This is My desire for you: that you stay near Me as you walk along your life-path. Each day is an important part of that journey ... By staying close to Me, you present yourself as a living sacrifice. Even the most routine part of your day can be a spiritual act of worship, holy and pleasing to Me." - Jesus Calling

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?

I never want to be someone that excludes or judges others because of outward appearances. Praying for wisdom and for God to open my eyes so that I don't. 

Other thoughts or feelings?
Getting my hair cut is one of life's simple pleasures and also a way that I practice self-care. It is one of the only times someone else takes care of me. I am thankful that I have the money to do this and that I have found a great stylist. Practicing self-care really makes a difference in my day and week. I think it will help the rest of my week.

9 . 13 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?

I went to my weekly therapy appointment during my lunch break today. Now that I have a big-girl job I finally have health insurance again! Now I can afford to go to therapy and only pay my $25 co-pay instead of $175. The joys of being insured.

I have been seeing this particular therapist for a couple weeks now and I really enjoy her presence in my life. It is so nice to be able to go into her office, be greeted with a smile and affirming nods as I talk about my life, my thoughts, my hurts, and my passions. She is also a very good question-asker, which is something that I crave. She will often give me things to ponder throughout the week and I like that.

Did you learn anything new about yourself today?

Being an introvert and someone who keeps my cards close, unless I know someone really well, I tend to keep things inside … SO … I have found that when needing to process or talk things out I need someone who can ask me questions.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?

My therapist asked me this same kind of question today in therapy. She asked “where is God in your life” - I paused and thought. A picture of Jesus popped into my head. He stood across the room with all the sin in-between me and him. I shared this image with my therapist and continued to talk it out. This might be the way I was feeling today … BUT this is not the reality or truth of God. He isn’t separated from me by my sin. Jesus is standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME, with his arm around me, loving me, in-spite of my sin. Yes it is there and yes it should be dealt with but Jesus is right there with me and will never leave my side. I need to remember this.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?

Okay. Nothing crazy to report.

Other thoughts or feelings?

I feel like a work in progress.

9 . 12 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
On Wednesday I went out to dinner with a dear friend of mine that I meet at my church. We went to a great Portland hole-in-the-wall restaurant called ¿Por Que No? in the Hawthorne district. It was great catching up with her about life. She is preparing for a big move and I am trying to figure out my life. We talked until it was dark and reluctantly headed back home. She is the kind of person that you want to keep in your life and I pray that I can do that very thing.

Did you learn anything about yourself today?
Hearing my friend process the changes in her life and sorting out all the details of her upcoming move made me realize, once again, that when we get older, we still have a lot to learn. I keep trying to figure out my life and go down a certain route when in reality there will always be a different route to go down the next day, week, month, year ... Why do I put the pressure on myself to figure it all out now? 



How do you feel about your relationship with God today?
I feel good. He is present.

How do you feel about your relationships today?
I feel pretty good. I love connecting with people one-on-one and being able to be genuine and real. Sometimes groups do not offer that. Relationships with people have always been a high priority of mine so getting to sit and talk with my friend over a great meal filled my "love tank" as my 6 year old niece puts it. :)

Other thoughts or feelings?
Nope.