9 . 18 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?
I went to therapy today during my lunch hour. During my drive I thought about what I wanted to talk about today. I have been reading "Recovering from Losses in Life" a lot because I will be facilitating a group starting next Monday for R&R at my church. All this reading on loss has got me thinking about my own losses in life. The book focuses not only on the big losses but also the small losses in life, which usually carry the most weight because people do not grieve over them. No grief = no process, no goodbye, no closure. This results in anger, bitterness, depression, anxiety ...

Did you learn anything new about yourself?
While talking with my therapist I shared about some of the losses in my life (having my heart broken in 4th grade by my "boyfriend", changing schools in jr. high, to name a few) and I realized that I have not grieved those losses and I need to in order to continue the journey of becoming emotionally healthy.

How do you feel about your relationship with God?
I feel as though God is slowly uncovering parts of myself that need work. Thankfully He did it in a gentle fashion today.

How do you feel about your relationship with people?
I didn't really interact with anyone outside of therapy and work. I think I needed time alone tonight after being with people these last couple of days.

Other thoughts or feelings?
The song that is playing right now is called "Can't Go Back" ... how true that is.
Time to process the losses and keep moving forward.

9 . 13 . 2013

Did anything interesting happen today?

I went to my weekly therapy appointment during my lunch break today. Now that I have a big-girl job I finally have health insurance again! Now I can afford to go to therapy and only pay my $25 co-pay instead of $175. The joys of being insured.

I have been seeing this particular therapist for a couple weeks now and I really enjoy her presence in my life. It is so nice to be able to go into her office, be greeted with a smile and affirming nods as I talk about my life, my thoughts, my hurts, and my passions. She is also a very good question-asker, which is something that I crave. She will often give me things to ponder throughout the week and I like that.

Did you learn anything new about yourself today?

Being an introvert and someone who keeps my cards close, unless I know someone really well, I tend to keep things inside … SO … I have found that when needing to process or talk things out I need someone who can ask me questions.

How do you feel about your relationship with God today?

My therapist asked me this same kind of question today in therapy. She asked “where is God in your life” - I paused and thought. A picture of Jesus popped into my head. He stood across the room with all the sin in-between me and him. I shared this image with my therapist and continued to talk it out. This might be the way I was feeling today … BUT this is not the reality or truth of God. He isn’t separated from me by my sin. Jesus is standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME, with his arm around me, loving me, in-spite of my sin. Yes it is there and yes it should be dealt with but Jesus is right there with me and will never leave my side. I need to remember this.

How do you feel about your relationships with people today?

Okay. Nothing crazy to report.

Other thoughts or feelings?

I feel like a work in progress.